Years later, when someone touches me, it shakes me inside. Very few people can touch me without making me feel like I'm 5 years old being raped in a bed, I'm lucky that I can be touched (non-sexually) by few people I trust 100% but for the rest of the world, keep your hands off me! I feel I'll never be like someone who hasn't been abused, I feel there's something that remains broken inside of me. That's the aftermath of incest!
I want to have sex but I've been abstaining for close to 4 years. I want to but I'm too scared of making love, I really want to but I'm terrified.
I'd love to heal that part of my life. It shall come one day, I know.
I sometimes feel I need to get my ass back in therapy.
But what more can a therapist say? I have a great job, I have great friends, I love myself, I enjoy life, I just wish these feelings would go away. 99% of the time I'm happy but the 1% of sad feelings is getting old.
I need a hug, I want a hug, I just can't bring myself to ask anyone. Plenty of people around me would hold me, I *know* that...
I want to have sex but I've been abstaining for close to 4 years. I want to but I'm too scared of making love, I really want to but I'm terrified.
I'd love to heal that part of my life. It shall come one day, I know.I sometimes feel I need to get my ass back in therapy.
But what more can a therapist say? I have a great job, I have great friends, I love myself, I enjoy life, I just wish these feelings would go away. 99% of the time I'm happy but the 1% of sad feelings is getting old.I need a hug, I want a hug, I just can't bring myself to ask anyone.
Plenty of people around me would hold me, I *know* that...
No comments:
Post a Comment